Learn to let go!!!

The harder you try to control things, the more they seem to slip away. Over the past few years, this has become one of the most profound lessons I’ve learned. I’ve found myself doing things I never envisioned or even desired. But what did I truly want? Honestly, I didn’t even know back then. Yet somehow, everything I’m doing now feels like it was meant to be all along.

Ironically, I used to joke that I’d rather beg than code—yet here I am, enjoying it, despite not being particularly exceptional at it. Becoming an intellectual wasn’t something I anticipated either, but the shift happened so gradually that I hardly noticed it until I was already on that path.

From coding to living in Europe, so much has unfolded without any careful planning. I suppose that’s what wisdom is—recognizing opportunities when they come and making the most of them. Just today, I was talking with a friend about my past relationships, reflecting on how different life could have been if I had stayed in India. I probably would’ve been content, but it would’ve been a life of dependency and routine. Europe taught me to think independently and create things on a larger scale.

I was explaining to my friend how we all, in some way, strive to create an identity—through our friendships, work, and life experiences. We carry these labels with us and use them to reinforce who we think we are. These identities are inescapable, unless you're pursuing asceticism. But in a materialistic world, they shape how we see ourselves and determine our happiness.

Looking back, I see a weak, underconfident version of myself—a person who needed a jolt of fate or randomness to start running. As I now work toward my goals of creating new things, I realize even my earlier romantic pursuits stemmed from a sense of helplessness. And maybe that’s true for everyone to some degree. But no one should view love as doing someone a favor. If your only reason for being with someone is fear of being alone, you need to pause and have an honest conversation with yourself.

Love shouldn't be defined by trivial fears or inflated egos. I often say I don’t meet people—I meet their egos. Everyone seems to be looking for a reason to get upset or offended. Sometimes, it's not even anger; it’s just that you're in different phases of life. Each phase and task requires a specific mindset. For example, people who are job hunting tend to be restless, while those deeply in love may find their work mundane. Every action, big or small, demands the right mental state. Sometimes, unfortunate circumstances make us lose people we care about.

Not every good person will become your friend, and not every bad person will become your enemy. Everyone has their own battles, their own little world to protect. Sometimes, we simply don’t want others disturbing the peace of our inner world. While it’s important to hold on to those we care about, it’s equally important to learn when to let go. Not because we don’t care, but because it’s the right thing to do. Whenever I face a difficult relationship, I think of Arjuna on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, fighting and killing his own family in pursuit of truth. Sometimes, we must let go of people to discover our own truth.

I often reflect on love, though I rarely see people truly understanding it. We make empty promises to ourselves and others, most of which are never tested, let alone fulfilled. People betray those promises because they don’t spend enough time in self-reflection. No one teaches them how to quiet their egos, so even their contemplation is tainted by self-obsession. I can’t fathom how people manage their lives in constant confusion, especially in relationships. Everyone wants clarity, yet they cling to uncertainty out of fear of being alone. But sometimes, you need to walk alone before finding the right person.

This has been a personal struggle for me—wondering who the "right" person is. The answer, I’ve come to believe, is no one. The only true relationship is with God, the purest connection we can rely on. The only person you can truly trust is your inner self. Love, in its truest form, comes not from desperation but from genuine compassion. It isn’t about dates and excitement; it’s a state of being where you’re so absorbed in something that everything else fades away. I see many people in relationships, but very few in love. True love isn’t about shirking responsibilities, but rather doing them with full devotion. Everyone has glimpses of love, but only a few operate from that mindset.

As I navigate life, uncertain of where I’m headed or who’s right or wrong, I trust my savior, Lord Rama, to guide me. In both good times and bad, it’s up to Him to show the way. My duty is to work with honesty and devotion, leaving the rest to Him. Life's complexities shouldn’t be forced—embrace them. 

May God bless those I’ve hurt, whether intentionally or not; it was all in my ignorance. I wish well for everyone, because most of the time, it's not the people who are bad—it’s the circumstances. And sometimes, it’s not even about the circumstances—it’s just a misalignment in that moment. Handle separations gracefully and keep walking your truth.