Relationships are hard, not only the romantic ones.

Relationships can be quite challenging, especially when physical distance or infrequent interactions are involved. This complexity stems from various factors that may not always be apparent. Loneliness is a prevalent issue today, and enhancing our understanding of relationships is crucial for everyone.

All relationships require an investment of time, effort, and energy. They are, in a way, transactional, except for those with God, truth, and the pursuit of wisdom, which tend to be one-sided and less prone to disappointment. However, for now, let's focus on human relationships. Humans are inherently social beings, and the absence of meaningful social connections can be as detrimental as physical ailments, sometimes even more so. It's essential to address this issue because many individuals silently endure without anyone to share their joys and sorrows.

In the age of social media, our ability to maintain substantial relationships is diminishing, much like our attention spans. Economic growth in some regions has contributed to loneliness, notably in Nordic countries, where even though happiness levels rank high, depression and mental health challenges persist.

Economic growth is just one piece of the puzzle; the ubiquity of social media and the constant comparison with others are significant contributors to the pervasive emptiness many of us feel. So, can anything be done to alleviate this sense of isolation?

I recently heard someone point out that when we discuss relationships, the focus often narrows down to romantic ones. While heartbreaks are undeniably tough, losing good friends can be equally, if not more, challenging, and this aspect is often overlooked. It's worth noting that an excessive fixation on romantic relationships can limit our perceptions and experiences. There are various types of relationships, all of which hold importance.

Parents, for instance, teach us about service and sacrifice. Relationships with teachers and idols guide us toward the right path and help us reach our full potential. Friendships, among my favorites, teach us about trust and honesty. And then there's our relationship with work, which involves self-discovery and gratitude. Finally, our relationship with God is about wisdom and transcending the ego.

Every relationship demands time, effort, and energy. How many of us have invested in these aspects in relationships other than romantic ones? This is a significant reason why many of us feel lonely and vulnerable. We've inadvertently weakened our own support system.

Many of us are hesitant to have profound conversations with our parents, and this issue exists on both sides. The parent-child relationship often doesn't evolve into a genuine friendship. Fear and a desire to shield us from life's challenges often hinder open communication. However, fostering trust and friendship with our parents can be immensely fulfilling. While I can't provide a definitive answer on how to achieve this, consistent effort may eventually transform the relationship.

Next, consider teachers and professors. We often complain about them, but how many of us have sought their guidance? It seems that we rely on our own intelligence to navigate life's challenges, leading to impulsive decisions. While some may argue that they had bad teachers, it's essential to reflect on whether we've missed out on valuable guidance. Rebelling against authority figures, societal norms, and parents may be fashionable, but it's crucial to have a purpose and a clear understanding of what we aim to achieve through our actions. Mindless rebellion only adds chaos to our lives.

Freedom, too, must be balanced with responsibility and regulation to avoid chaos. While moral policing has its place in society, adults with a good grasp of their surroundings should be allowed the freedom to make their own choices.

Friendships, the favorite kind, personally, I value friendship almost as much as family. Family is often not decided by us and the structure of society is such that it is not that easy to break ties with them, not that I'm suggesting it anyway. Also, because of the time and sacrifice invested in our growth, we become hard-wired toward our parents and siblings. But friendships are different, we choose them almost on our own, without society judging us for whom do we choose and leave. It is probably the most independent relationship of all, with the least amount of judgment, within the relationship as well as from the outside world. People of completely different social status and backgrounds might become really good friends, what's more marvelous than this. I feel fortunate that I was able to turn a few of my friends into brothers for life. 

Compared to any other relationship, we can be most honest and show our real selves to our friends. Our romantic interests often leave when they encounter the deepest, ugliest, and most immoral parts of our character, but not a true friend. You would've often seen that people are very cautious in their behavior around their partners. Personally, I feel that romantic interests are the most judgemental and transactory of all the relationships. There is so much judgment there, especially at the beginning of the relationship. It is often born out of a facade, and by the time the reality sets in, we become too dependent on each other. But friendships are different they last even when there are vast distances and long periods of no talking. There is a reason why romantic relationships don't work in a long-distance format; because they are not based on trust, but rather on comfort and habit. The moment the habit breaks the relationship also breaks. 

A good friend will tell you the truth, give you reality checks, and fight with the world to protect you. Unlike parents, they will not try to shield you from life's hardships, they will let you fight your own demons. They will speak the truth when everyone is just trying to give you a fake sense of comfort. They will tell you to your face, "Go and bust your ass, you fucked up big this time". Unlike romantic relationships, they can survive long distances and periods of inactivity. Cherish your friends, make them know you love them, and that they have contributed significantly to your life, knowingly or inadvertently. 

Next is the relationship with work, there is not much to say here, until we stop seeing work as a tool to get money and survive, we will never be satisfied. The idea of work needs to evolve beyond sustenance. We need to appreciate and feel gratitude towards our work, and feel proud of what we do with full honesty. Work is a significant chunk of our lives, and feeling gratitude and honesty towards that definitely leads to a happy life. Money is a by-product of honesty towards work. No matter what we do, honesty and dedication will make us grow faster than the desire for money. Because how can anyone get good at something if they don't like it. 

If one truly loves their work, one can discover so many things about their personality. They can discover how good they are at handling stressful situations. How well of a communicator they have become, can they convince people, can they motivate people to follow a discipline. Work brings so many positive things in life. Work is not only job, but things surrounding that job, things that make that job happen. Be it waking up early or eating breakfast at a particular time. Work brings order to an otherwise chaotic life. We often see that people with the most meaningful lives were always honest in their work, be it Dr. Kalam or Swami Vivekananda. 

And finally, the relationship with the god. This one is so elusive that most of our peers have no understanding left of this god concept. We are obsessed with our life, somehow we can't pause our monkey minds to think of anything else except our life. The relationship with god teaches about being present in the moment, it teaches about existence. The relationship with god teaches how to disassociate our minds from our own lives. It makes us appreciate the universe beyond our own tiny little life. I've seen and met a lot of intelligent people who keep suffering from their own thoughts and can never look past their own egoistic selves. God is the death of ego, god is pure existence, free from everything and yet attached to everything. Spiritual path makes one internally strong, making them ready to fight any interior or exterior battle. 

All the distractions and problems vanish once the individual understands their own self. We are sad, depressed, and lonely, because we never spend time with ourselves, the most important relationship of all. We are too scared to be alone, we want to cling, we want constant company. Give the most amount of time to your inner self. Enjoy your own company, learn to sit alone, learn to love all the people around you. And all the above will be fixed once you become self-aware. The best relationship in the world is self-awareness. There is no true anything without self-awareness. Please I request all of you to become more self-aware and be someone's helping hand in whatever capacity possible.

I'll end this with a quote "Your intelligence is useless if it doesn't help you build wisdom to be happy."

Thanks