Death of our dreams

Our identities are shaped not only by our parents but also by the communities to which we belong. The concept of community holds a profound place in the human psyche. It's been noted that lack of human contact can even lead to dire consequences, akin to physical illness. The need for human connection is so fundamental that it can be equated with a form of ailment. In essence, the bonds we form with our parents and our wider community mold us in a literal sense. However, as with most aspects of life, these connections come with their own baggage, perspectives, and lenses.

So, what are these lenses, and how do they influence our lives? Every human experience is filtered through a lens, a perspective that is nearly impossible to escape. Our past experiences and memories shape how we perceive everything around us. It's fascinating how the same situation can elicit vastly different reactions from different individuals. You've likely encountered individuals who seem perpetually dissatisfied, regardless of the circumstances. Their perspective lens is distorted, preventing them from seeing the positives in the world. When I encounter challenges, I remind myself that I have a choice: I can either complain or adopt a warrior mindset, accepting my situation and facing it with the resources available. I consistently opt for the latter. These lenses are deeply ingrained in our behavior and psyche, often stemming from our childhood, particularly our relationships with our parents. They influence even our choice of partners in ways we might not fully comprehend. Why is this the case? Because the neural pathways responsible for mate selection are the same ones that we have for our parents, they develop over time and guide us in seeking romantic connections, often to the similar personality traits as our parents or completely opposite.

It's important to note that while we may not eliminate these lenses entirely, we can strive to broaden them, allowing for a more extensive range of perspectives. Anyone who claims to be entirely unbiased likely misunderstands how the human brain operates. Our biases are essentially our choices, as the line between good and bad is often blurred. Things are categorized as good or bad based on one's perspective, not inherent qualities. Our lenses determine what we perceive as good or bad.

Consider the example of feeling at home in a foreign place. Even after more than three years, I still can't call the Western world my home; it feels as though I'm perpetually a tourist. Why is that? Why can't I shake off my Indian identity? It's not that I'm actively trying to change; it's just not easy to let go of one's roots. I inevitably view and interpret things through an Eastern perspective. There's a subjective experience that I can feel in any corner of India but not here. That's why India is home, and the West is a place where I'm a long-term tourist. I can't pinpoint precisely what defines India, but your mind always knows when you're not at home. Even your behavior in a foreign land differs significantly. You're more self-aware, somewhat anxious, whereas at home, you don't think twice; it comes naturally. This subjective experience embodies our lens.

None of us can deny the importance of these lenses, but how deep do they go in our psyche? It's not just the interpretation of the world, but our own internal selves. Our passion, goals, desire and identity is shaped by these lenses. All and all, these societal lenses are inescapable, yet, we must strive to experience things that are not in our physical vicinity. And the only way to do that is to read, as much as possible.

Let's face it, we don't encounter fascinating people every day, and we often find ourselves stuck in repetitive routines, discussing the same topics and doing the same shitty things repeatedly. Our lenses remain narrow, and for many of us, we've become creatures of habit rather than explorers of new ideas. I personally believe that one of the gravest sins in human life is failing to realize our true potential. Allowing our dreams to wither away is akin to a form of existential death. Never pursuing our dreams is a moral failure, a failure of life itself. And do you know the funny part about not reaching our goals, it was never about talent, money, resources, or time; it was always about mindset. Mindset that we failed to build with all the time and energy we had.

Our minds are often devoid of original thoughts, filled instead with the hopes and dreams of society, never motivating us enough to take action. Consider this: how can you ever reach the summit of a mountain if you're walking toward the sea? The key to greatness and success lies in walking the right path and cultivating the right attitude. Until you define your goals from your unique perspective, rather than through society's lens, you'll struggle to find fulfillment and motivation to pursue anything beyond your immediate needs.

We seldom take the time to sit with ourselves, and our own company feels uninspiring to many. Why is that? How did we reach a point where our own mindset is often the dullest presence in the room, constantly seeking external validation from others? In the fast-paced world of social media and trends, our minds remain perpetually distracted, leaving little room to develop perspectives deeply rooted in reason.

A stark example of this mindset can be observed in many newcomers to the corporate world. Ask them about their goals, and a significant number will express a desire to indulge in constant fun before settling down and getting married. Unhealthy eating, excessive partying, and a lack of discipline becomes their defining traits. But my question to all is: If you are scared about that you will not have the chance to be reckless and frivolous after marriage, then why are why are you not judicious with your time? If you couldn't build wisdom, when you had all thee time and energy, why would you be able to do it later, when you have less time and more responsibility. And this is true for all the other things that most among us fail to achieve like acquiring financial wisdom, cultivating character strength, understanding the human mind and body, honing ethics, delving into simplicity, appreciating art, embracing spirituality, and nurturing qualities like patience and humility? None of these qualities come naturally; they all demand dedication and practice. Yet, many continue chasing material possessions without ever truly attaining them. By working on developing a robust warrior mindset driven by ethics and principles, achieving material success becomes a more attainable goal. Build the mindset of a warrior, embrace solitude for a time, correct your lenses, and enrich your perspectives with the wisdom of the great minds who have preceded us, blessing us with their thoughts.

Death of our dreams is a ghost that will haunt us for life, we might forget about it for a while, but I'm confident that it never leaves us. The game of life is rigged to death and the only option to win is to do something that makes you feel that you overcame adversity, and transformed your life in unimaginable ways. This is a deeply satisfying feeling, gaining control over your life. Our dreams die not because of anyone else, but because of our inability to let go of short term incentives. Our mind, unless trained otherwise, will always lean more towards the easy path. Embracing pain and loneliness is the key to success. Don't die before you physically die, don't let the flame go off, before your body goes off. 

If you truly want to live life on your terms without sacrificing your dreams, stop the way they talk, stop going where they go, stop behaving the way they behave, stop thinking the way they think. Cease to adopt their language, their paths, their behaviors, and their way of thinking. How can you ever hope to reach your unique goals and aspirations if your journey mirrors theirs? To carve your own path and construct your narrative, you must develop the resilience to question society's norms.

However, a word of caution: when I advocate rejecting societal beliefs, I mean doing so with a well-founded rationale, not simply to appear modern. Modernity is not inherently superior; it's merely different and often lacks strong principles. When I speak of rejecting or accepting beliefs, many people immediately think of topics like relationships, marriage, and sex. I advise addressing your moral compass first before delving into the complexities of these controversial subjects. Fix other aspects of your life before tackling these because your current mindset may not be equipped to grasp the nuances involved in these matters.

If you can't grasp the basics of your dietary choices, your behavior, your motivation, or your ability to define and pursue your goals, then you're not in a position to offer comprehensive insights on these highly intricate topics that involve other individuals. If you can barely comprehend your own individuality, how can you expect to understand it in others?

In the end, I would just say that, if you think the the cost of success is too high, wait till you get the bill from regret.

Note: Some points or statements may not be entirely accurate especially when discussing biological aspects, but they serve as a guiding compass for the flow of thought, rather than absolute truths. Please allow some flexibility, as I'm not a neuroscientist, and factual correctness at all times may not be achievable. Also, I need to make some generalization to make my point, I can't write about each individual's perspective, because this is a commentary on society at large.