Sharing life with Europeans

On July 1, 2022, I embarked on a new chapter in my life by relocating to Brussels. The catalyst for this move was a desire to be nearer to a good friend who had recently settled there. Previously, my commute to work was a mere 3 km, but this transition extended it to a significant 60 km. Despite the increased travel to the office, the prospect of being close to a friend outweighed the convenience of a shorter commute.

In an unexpected twist, I didn't end up living with my friend but instead plunged into a new world populated by strangers. My new residence, far from being a mere dorm or hostel, it was a villa housing 23 individuals from 17 different nationalities. It was a vibrant, culturally rich environment where most of us would gather daily to cook in the sole kitchen.

The day I moved in, the house seemed labyrinthine. A Dutch housemate gave me a tour, and we quickly struck up a friendship. The house itself was awe-inspiring – it's doubtful I'll ever again experience living in such a grand space surrounded by such a diverse group. My room was modest in size, but the vast common areas more than made up for it. These included an expansive dining hall, a cozy cinema room, a tranquil office space, and even a compact gym. This move wasn't just a change of address but a leap into a whole new world of experiences and friendships. When I relocated to my new residence, it was largely populated by French speakers, presenting a language barrier since I couldn't speak French. Adjusting to life in this new setting required learning about the house and its occupants, a process that was both challenging and intriguing.

Our common area to chill

In India, where I'm originally from, the cultural dynamics are notably different. Initially, I was cautious, not fully understanding Western traditions and manners, to avoid any cultural faux pas. Gradually, I grew accustomed to their ways, grasping what was culturally acceptable and what wasn't. This learning curve was starkly different from the Indian way of life, where people are deeply involved in each other's affairs. For example, during my 1.5 years here, no one has ever knocked on my door, a stark contrast to the open-door policy commonly observed in India, where any friend of yours can walk into your room anytime. My attempts to explain this cultural difference to my Western housemates often met with bewilderment.

The nature of all relationships is largely shaped by the kinds of interactions and topics of conversation we have with each other. In this European setting, most housemates prefer light, casual discussions and rarely delve into personal matters unless specifically asked. This approach limited the depth of my friendships here, with a few exceptions. These few individuals have significantly broadened my perspective on European values through engaging one-on-one discussions.

Living here has offered me a wide range of intellectually stimulating conversations with people from diverse professional backgrounds, such as architects, criminal psychologists, lawyers, painters, polyglots, and podcasters. These interactions have been enriching, providing insights and perspectives that I rarely experienced with my Indian peers. In contrast, conversations with my Indian friends often revolved around the same mundane topics, focusing predominantly on social outings like bar visits, food, and romantic relationships, which I did not find particularly appealing.

My preference for more meaningful interactions led me to engage with individuals rather than participate in large gatherings. The house sometimes hosted extravagant parties, but I found myself not enjoying these boisterous events, preferring quieter settings for meaningful conversations.

My weekends were devoted to personal growth and discipline, starting each day early and working diligently. This routine often meant declining social invitations, especially those centered around nightlife, which I found unproductive.

I'll tell you a big problem with the Indian diaspora here: they try too hard to become like Europeans and ultimately reach a stage where they are neither Indian nor European. Often adopting Europe's less desirable aspects like excessive drinking while neglecting positive traits like health consciousness and work ethics. Conversations with Indians here in the West lacked depth, focusing on superficial topics such as food, travel, and romantic pursuits, rarely extending to intellectually stimulating discussions.

On the other hand, I found Europeans, regardless of their background in science or technology, open to a wide range of topics, including complex and scientific ones. I remember explaining complex cognitive processes to a group of German girls during a concert, a scenario unlikely to occur with an Indian counterpart even in the most tranquil setting.

The Europeans I've interacted with in this house have been generally gracious, eager to learn, and less inclined towards personal drama. They exhibit a curiosity about different cultures and ideas but are more reserved in sharing personal space or resources.

Living here has exposed me to a spectrum of experiences and lifestyles, from witnessing drug use and public nudity to engaging with members of the LGBTQ community and refugees. These experiences have broadened my horizons, making me more open-minded and able to understand different viewpoints.

My time in 'Bota 6' has been a blend of laughter, learning, and maintaining my Indian values while embracing and respecting European sensibilities. This cultural amalgamation has enriched my life experience, providing me with a balanced perspective from both worlds.