Hope: There is no life without it

This thought has been with me for years, but I've struggled to express it coherently. Today, I feel ready to give it a voice. My journey thus far has been akin to a roller coaster, filled with unexpected twists and turns. I, a born extrovert, have found myself turning inwards, engaging in that essential conversation with my inner self, a dialogue I believe is crucial for us all. Over recent years, I've delved deep into my mind, exploring rationality and observing human behavior. While I diligently pursue my external goals, I find myself even more committed to nurturing my inner self. Yes, I've been told that my critiques can be harsh, but trust me, I hold myself to even higher standards. I firmly believe in the power of love to inspire improvement, but I've also learned that the journey of self-growth requires immense time and perseverance. Honest, albeit tough, criticism from a trustworthy source is often a catalyst for rapid personal development. I wonder why more people don't seek this kind of constructive feedback. It's essential for growth, isn't it?

I sometimes feel that I have experienced a lifetime's worth of events at a young age. I've witnessed the loss of friends to suicide, seen others grapple with depression, and watched many struggle with the aftermath of losing loved ones. I've observed people's struggles with finding meaning, accepting themselves, and building self-confidence. I've seen the desperation for romantic connection, financial struggles, and the heartbreak of infidelity. It seems I've encountered nearly every human tribulation through those close to me or through my own experiences. Each of these experiences has shaped me, and with each passing day, I grow more accepting of who I am. As I write this, tears fill my eyes, reflecting on the pain and suffering I've witnessed. But these tears are not just of sadness; they are also of understanding, empathy, and a deep connection to the human experience. My life's lessons stem from a myriad of sources: seeking new experiences, reading voraciously across diverse subjects, and being genuinely interested in the stories of others – their joys and their sorrows.

Navigating the complexities of life and relationships is no small feat. As someone whom people often turn to for help, I find myself grappling with the weight of their expectations. It's a challenging position to be in, yet I can't turn away from someone in need, especially when a bit of my time could alleviate their suffering. Life is indeed tough, and its challenges are magnified when you feel alone, without a companion to share the journey.

The reason I'm articulating these thoughts is that I believe words often have a more profound impact on people than actions. Words have the power to comfort, to resonate, to change perspectives. Reflecting on the phases of human relationships, I'm reminded of college days. Those years in the hostel with mates, where every room and corridor was filled with laughter, tears, and shared experiences – both good and bad. It felt like a bond that would last a lifetime. Yet, as time passes, these relationships often fade, becoming distant memories, like dust swept away by the winds of life. The next phase is acceptance – either accepting the transience of these relationships and moving on, or striving to see the good in people, cherishing and preserving whatever connections remain. Each choice represents a path in the intricate dance of human relationships, and each step we take shapes our journey through life.

Barring a few individuals, I'm disappointed with most people around me. Why are you so selfish? Why are you so self-obsessed? Why are you so ignorant? When will you stop complaining about life? When will you start appreciating what you've been given? Are all the people just a tool in your life, meant only to be discarded once your life has been fixed? Believe me, it will never be fixed; please, I beg you to take care of people around you, show some love, believe in the power of hope, express yourself, and show some fucking gratitude in life, at least once. Don't let the people around you turn you into an apathetic and dark soul; keep your humanity alive. 

Please bear with me; I'm sorry that I will say hurtful things here because that's the only way to make most people reflect on themselves. Why are you so fucking obsessed with entertainment? How hollow you've become? I see everyone pretending to be someone they are not; look at the Instagram reels you shared and the status you posted in the last few years; it's all about you. Look at the people you follow; how many of you follow any scientists or people shaping society and doing some actual work. Oh, I love Taylor Swift or Kohli; despite having no insight into their personal lives or work ethics, you love them because they appear cool, and everyone in your group talks about them. Real idols are those from whom you learn new things and try to become a better human. Most among us are completely fucking oblivious to the pain and misery around us; most of us care more about a cricket match than a fucking war in Israel and Palestine. That's what we've come to; we keep the count of the runs but not the lives we lost. 

It's not happening in our home; why should we bother? That's the attitude most are living with. We've forgotten how to be sensitive, open-minded, and, most importantly, kind to each other. All the girls who are pretending to be queens and all the ass-hole guys pretending to be the coolest guy in the group, don't you get tired of this crap. Can't you be a kind, honest, and good human being rather than cool and famous? Have we lost all fucking humility? And why can't most girls look past money and status? How did we come to this, that we've no dignity and humility left for people who are stranger to us? By the way, why are you not working on your inner self? What more important thing do you have to do in life? Most of you are becoming more and more corrupt and less positive each day. 

The amount of pretense around us, it's pitiful and shameful that we can't appreciate simplicity in life, all of us chasing something fancy. Your heart has turned into stone, and it only cares about you. For instance, you like someone (as a girl), but they should still approach you, why can't you, go and express yourself? I'll tell you why: your ego doesn't let you. 

How miserable our lives have become that most boys will choose any girl because they don't have any option. This tells not only about the boys but about the girls as well. I will make him wait before I reply; otherwise, he will think I'm too free for him; why do you have time for so much bullshit but not for genuine care and love? 

And guys are even worse, having no self-discipline, no self-respect, and sacrificing their dreams at the altar of one-night stands and worthless romantic pursuits that lead to nowhere. Completely filled with desperation, trying with all their might for a superficial relationship. And all of this is for what? Sex, right? Stop approaching and talking to people without any other agendas; occasionally, have a normal conversation where you don't have ulterior motives. Believe me, it is fun and very interesting when you keep sex out of the picture. If you want sex, go and put it clearly to the other person; stop fantasizing all the time and wasting your time just thinking about that. Love is pure. Don't let it be about egos, pretense, and fun only. It's a holy and pure thing encompassing much more than fun and having a good time. Please stop with this nonsensical pretense; I urge both guys and girls. 

Most of you have no interest left in reading, yet your conviction in your own smartness is beyond me. Most can't even control their emotions when someone presents an opposing viewpoint, especially in a debate with the opposite gender. We are scared to speak the truth because it might hurt their feelings, and this pretense continues. You know more about some shitty ass influencer than Bhagat Singh or Swami Vivekananda. Please read; it makes you a better human; life is primarily about being more aware and removing as many biases as possible. 

On a slightly different note, I see people lacking complete empathy, being unable to shell out 1000 Rs for each other, and doing all the "hisaab" for a plate of food; don't you dare and tell me that most of you don't do this. Ask yourself, do you seriously need to take back the money for a plate of food. I feel sorry that you are not becoming a better human in any shape or form. A meager sum of money is more important for you than your friendships. 

Most of our relationships are becoming more and more superficial. No one, and I say no one gives a damn about you because you don't give a damn about anyone except your own self. Go ahead, keep posting all the nonsensical memes, go ahead, keep posting all the cricket match statuses, go ahead, keep earning more money, go ahead, keep being deceitful and dishonest because all of these keep feeding your ego.

What will you do with all that money and pretense? Most of us don't have the decency to be polite, and half of us don't bother to call our friends, knowing perfectly well that they might be alone. Why should we bother? Our entertainment is going on in full swing. Why should I do anything that is not fun? I'm scared of responsibility and will only do things if it is mandatory. Otherwise, I don't believe in making people happy and cheerful because that wastes my time. If you keep thinking like this, you will never find peace, calmness, and joy. 

Half of us are too scared to help a brother out, yet we will spend thousands on impressing a girl because sex is more important than keeping all the beautiful relationships. Most of us have no idea about any great people; that's why we keep equating fame with greatness.  

You will keep feeling small about yourself, you will keep pretending to be happy, you will keep thinking about your selfish interests, and you will die with this shitty attitude unless you go out in the world and start giving love to the world. True love is not about receiving. It is about giving; the more you give, the better you feel about yourself. 

If you don't stop with this massive ego wave you are riding, a day will come when no one will be bothered or sad about you not being a part of their lives. And believe me, when this happens, you will feel like killing yourself. Do something about it before it's too late. Stop finding faults in others and appreciate whatever others have done for you. Make a rule that when you talk to people, you try to talk about art, beauty, poetry, discovery, the lives of great people, nature, and everything that keeps your ego calm. Ask yourself, when was the last time you looked at clouds for half an hour and discussed the grandness of the universe or god. And if you don't have things like this in your life, you need to go and pick some books to open your mind, not just your eyes.

Please start regulating your social media usage; it's making you increasingly oblivious to the suffering. It makes all of us live in tiny bubbles and eco chambers. Friendship is a responsibility and a damn important one; call your friends randomly, and offer your help without them asking for it, make them know you're with them. Don't just assume that they know; express it in words. Most of you are just giving excuses but not making an effort to know the well-being of your friends. If you can't seem to send a greeting to a friend going to America after being together for 4 years, then there is seriously something wrong with you. You are not a good person and have no respect for all your beautiful times with that person.

I feel sorry to say that most of us are almost illiterate, except in the field we study or work in. We have no passion left for music, art, and literature; we only care about sex and entertainment. All the virtues are being replaced by virtue signaling. Can you even identify what is virtuous now? Whatever you do should be accepted as moral, and if someone points out your immorality, they should be categorized as judgmental, right? Most among us don't care a dime about any virtue. Keep living like that, and you will never find the deep satisfaction that your heart aches for, and believe me, it is nowhere to be found in the trenches of all the frivolous acts of immorality. 

Feeling pathetic about your life? Go and attend a fucking party on a Wednesday evening; that will surely make you feel calm and peaceful. 

Your friend asks for some money, and all you can shell out a few thousand, despite having lakhs in your account, and it's all because you don't trust them; you don't trust them because you don't trust yourself, the relationship you share with yourself is of dishonesty. This will never go away until and unless you start having an honest conversation with yourself and respecting human relationships. I've seen people breaking friendships for as little as 100 INR because sometimes that is worth more than your friendships. 

We've already lost faith; god has become irrelevant. Go and drink on a Diwali night because that's the only thing we can do to be happy. Go and spend thousands in cafes and bars, but don't you dare spend it to help a needy person. 

Break people's hearts, but never offer your genuineness. Keep playing the ego game and wait for the other to say it first. There is no place for anyone else in your life except your ego. Go and select partners because they make you feel on top of the world and send you on an ego trip, not because they are good people and want to walk with you while becoming better human beings. It's all fucking about you. 

Most of us are not even trying to be better humans; nothing makes our hearts weep; we are blind to suffering, and we can't appreciate our parents and friends. But damn, oh boi, we are way too good at finding fault in things and people except in our own selves. 

You are fucking no one, I say, no one, no matter how good-looking or how rich you are, because, in the end, you are a selfish little prick who just thinks about themselves. 

My biggest disdain is not that we all have these flaws, but it's more about not thinking about improving upon them. Don't keep your words to people; it's okay to cheat, and it's okay to not care about anyone else; that's what a lot of us think, and that's precisely why we are unhappy. 

All of us need that light and hope to be happy. Your job, your girlfriend, your this, your that, please start talking to yourself, or you will die a shallow person. Pretending to be someone who you never were, please build a fucking spine, be true to your words, be honest with yourself. Most of you have never uttered words of hope and wisdom. Most of you never take your time to make others feel happy; you only do it when you want sex or some favor from the other person. 

Ohh boy, that's a lot of ranting.....I don't want to end this on a negative note. 

Let me quote a beautiful line, "Happiness is real ...when shared". I'm no one without my friends and family; all of you have helped me reach where I am, consciously or inadvertently. I bow down to you all for the beautiful moments and learning. Life is worthless with all the money and comfort if people do not remember me in a good light. Find inspiration, lower your expectations, and selflessly help people around you.

On a more personal note, I have this friend (not naming for obvious reasons) who inspires me; they help me see hope and believe in humanity. I know you have many problems; we've shared many things with each other. But I clearly see that desire to improve your life despite all the odds. Being in your situation, it is tough to see the light, but please keep searching, and you will find it one day. I know you are lost; you are not sure what's right and wrong, what's moral and immoral, but none of that matters, as the only thing that matters is that you are walking on the correct path. Most people go fast and reach nowhere. The journey you are on is a slow and arduous one; I know this because I've already walked it. But don't you ever give up; you never know that it might be the very next stop where you will find all your answers.

Most importantly, keep asking the right questions and talk more to yourself than anyone else. Make your life more about helping others and being kind; there is no bigger gift to humanity and your own soul. Let me repeat: the people who led the fullest lives, lived a life of giving, not receiving, whether Buddha or someone else. Life's real beauty is seeing the light in all the suffering. All it takes is one moment of realization that it's not about you; the moment you realize this, life will become an adventure, filling you with joy and hope and again seeing good in humanity.

Being kind is something even I'm actively working on. I try to see beauty in everything; I want to help, reach out, and impact as many lives as possible. The real worth of my life will be how many of you will remember me once I'm gone. Try to help and inspire people. Not everyone is going to be successful and smart, but all of us can become more kind and helpful.

Get out of your ego bubble, constantly being fed by social media and the fancy things you own. Always remember that everyone has something to teach you. It just takes active listening and a little more extra effort to make your time on this earth beautiful and wonderful. Life is all about human relationships, not about relationships with material things. And once you understand this, you will find peace and joy in everything and live your life to the fullest.

I hope this inspires you and you will make efforts to keep your friends, just like you make efforts for sex or money. Please, I beg you to not take your friends for granted.

Peace out. I am sorry for all the harsh criticism; I hope you reflect on what I said and forge your own destiny rather than walking on someone else's path. 

To end this rather lengthy blog, I would like to say a few lines from Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken."

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.