What it takes to completely transform your life!!!

There is no denying that we are living in the most peaceful and safest time world has ever seen, yet, so many of us are addicted or depressed, why so? Because most of us have never witnessed a true calamity, like World War, famine, or a plague thus we fail to understand how harsh the world could actually be. The reason for our misery is often self-inflicted. Constant comparison with the fake online persona of people is one of the major factors in the conditioning of our brain thus making us primarily unhappy and dissatisfied. But let's ask ourselves, is there a way out? Can we do something about it? Definitely yes, it's just about changing our perspective. Let's have a detailed look at this through various arguments and analogies. In order to treat a disease or a problem, first we need to do a proper diagnosis of the problem. Let's ask ourselves, what is the base cause of most of our problems? I think most of us can agree that it is very likely our unfulfilled desires that cause all sorts of problems. But how do these desires materialize over the various stages of our lives? I think it comes from the perspective or outlook we have of the world. A person living in the dark ages or world war 2 will find working a 9-5 job very comfortable than most of us will ever do. It's just about perspective, if we can switch our perspective, we can change the way we feel and perceive our daily lives. We can completely transform our lives towards a more meaningful and satisfactory life. Most of our perspective or outlook of the world doesn't come by analyzing the world but rather by analyzing how other people are operating in the same world, it's like a hive mind where no one knows who is drawing up these principles which we all seem to follow. It's important to analyze both the environment and the agent in order to play the most majestic game in the world called, LIFE. Most of us are completely unaware of our environments thus failing to play an optimum game. 

Now let's talk about the most common problems of young people, there are not many; it's just a combination of a few of these. Sex, romantic relationships, social status, less money, identity crisis, work-life balance. For each individual, it's often one or the other combination of these six problems. I would like to know about any other problems (not counting medical illness or accidents or deaths in the family) anyone of you might have faced. A majority of guys in their mid-twenties constantly think about sex, thinking about it doesn't help much. For many young girls, finding a romantic partner and keeping them seems to be a very big problem. Social status is also something that drives people to do crazy things, this also includes fashion. Money seems to be another big problem for a lot of people as it is associated with status. Identity crisis is not that clearly visible but it manifests in other ways, like not being able to maintain long-lasting relationships. And lastly, work-life balance is something a  lot of us cry about. 

Let's try to have a new outlook on all these problems that seem to take up the majority of our prime age. Sex, just think about this, when your assignments are due, or when you are sick, or when you are searching for a job, or when you are hiking a mountain, or when you are playing a cricket match, the thought of sex and romantic love will never enter your mind. It often comes when someone in your group talks about their own desires or you watch some movies or TV serials. If you are addicted to porn, then it's a different case. The thought of Sex often comes when we are not doing something productive or having a good time. It is one of the most prominent thoughts of the idle mind. Thus try to keep yourself busy with other things, and explore other dimensions of life because you will definitely get it eventually but not necessarily other great experiences. Sex is one of the most experienced experiences, the only difference is in the timings for individuals. I'm not equating sex to a bad thing but it's almost bound to happen to you, so my only question is, why should we keep chasing it, lets's focus on some other things. 

Next is romantic love, this idea primarily comes from movies and gossiping about other couples and is somewhat related to Sex also. The idea of romantic relationships is a byproduct of an even more idle mind than the thought of Sex. Most romantic relationships are bound to doom from the very beginning because love is an art like any other, it takes time, discipline, and hard work. When most of us think about a romantic relationship, our minds just stop after sex, social status, and visiting fancy places. Another pathetic reason I see people go into relationships is that they are bored with themselves and their lives. Let me clearly state that it is not that LOVE is overrated but it's our capacity to love which is overrated. If you don't see that you can add something good to someone else's life and also get something good from them; while building a great life together then there is no point in that relationship. Relationships born out of neediness just give you tension, baggage, and drama, not a chance to become better human beings. If you are not ready to become a better human being and put in all the hard work, don't go into a relationship, because it will suck out a whole lot of time from your most productive years. I keep hearing people making the same argument, you need to go through such experiences in order to find 'The correct one'. The fact of the matter is that the more relationships you go through, the more baggage you have and the more likely you are to compare your partners with your ex and break off with them. Let me give a simple analogy to make this even more clear. If you are super hungry, the moment you enter the supermarket, you will pick up the first thing you find on the shelf, without checking whether it's healthy or not. Only when you are full, you will choose the healthy and better option. The same is true with romantic relationships, don't look for a girlfriend/boyfriend for the sake of relationships, look for the qualities, and whoever possesses those, just go ahead with them. Understand this, the more you feel you need it, the more chance is there for you to pick the wrong person. One shouldn't feel the pressure or need to be in a relationship because their friends are in one, but we all know that's what happens primarily with most of us.

Social status makes you do crazy things, this is the thing that makes you corrupt. People spent hours buying fancy cloth and setting their hair but they have no time to think about their morality. Fancy clothes might make you look cool but in no way it makes your life easier to deal with or makes other respect you. Respect is earned by actions, not by your perceived looks. And honestly, if you can't look at yourself naked in the mirror and wonder about your own greatness, then you have no real confidence. All you have is borrowed confidence from Nike, Chanel or any other brands. Real confidence comes from the knowledge of the fact that your worth is more than what you look like. Real worth is and will always be derived from your work. Anything that is easy has no worth. Ten people hitting on you in a bar is not your worth, it's them being horny. Anything for which you haven't worked really hard can never truly contribute to your own self-confidence. Real worth comes from the knowledge of the fact that you are enriching the lives of people around you with your work.

Money, most people don't have money because they don't know why they need money. Also, most people don't understand finance at all, they have no knowledge of how financial institutions work. You need money so that you can buy a bike is not going to be a good enough motivation to be self-sustainable. Rather think of money as a skill, as a tool to make other things happen. My main motivation for earning more money is to prove to myself that I had the opportunity to buy the most expensive stuff yet I chose to buy simple stuff and that's real power. Only when you have the power you can talk about what it means to be not corrupt. Earning money takes real skill and it's a good skill to learn as it makes you work really hard and push yourself beyond limits. Let me expand more on this, for instance, if you want to make more money, the two things that you need to do is time management and the capacity to work really hard. In order to manage your time, you need to be disciplined (i.e. really good mental health), and for you to be able to put in a lot of work hours, you need to be physically fit. If you want to get money in your life, becoming both mentally and physically fit is the key. If you can't pull 15 hours of work for months at a stretch, you are very unlikely to make the money that you want to make. 

Identity crisis, this one is tricky to crack. In the day and age of social media and information explosion, we can't seem to get our associations right. An identity crisis has a really deep impact on your overall happiness and motivation. Without a good set of rules for what kind of identity you want, you will never work hard. Let's say if you can't understand the philosophy of Bhagat Singh, then there is almost no chance that you can ever become a revolutionary. Or if you can't understand or relate to the life of Buddha, you can never become enlightened. The point is you need to build your identity from the people whom you consider great. But the thing to be noted here is that nothing comes without a price ever. You can't be enlightened if you are not ready to sacrifice everything like Budhha did. Nothing comes for free, get this straight in your mind. If you can't give up on the idea of fun, you can never have a content life let alone a great life. Identity is key in determining which places you are going to go, what kind of people you will interact with, and eventually what you will do with your own life. Spending the entire day on social media is not going to make you the person you want to become, it's your will that's going to do it, and that primarily comes from identity. Another importance of identity is that, if you don't have a strong identity, any foreign thought will sway your mind and thus make you incapable of working on things for a longer time. As the saying goes "Rome was not built in a day", similarly, a happy or great life is not built in a day. The first thing to do is to stop giving a crap about what people post on social media. I've seen it in my own life, whenever I tell people that I'm living in Europe, they often assume I'm having fun, visiting all the fancy places, and having a good time. But the fact is that I don't go out for weeks at stretch and I spend most of my time alone, thinking and reading. I've spent days without talking to anyone, just studying (I don't have exams anymore), building my belief system, and creating my identity in that process.

Work-life balance, you will never find it. if you consider your work as just a source of income. Fuck work-life balance, go and work your ass off because that is the only way to fall in love with your work. The more time you spend with it the more you will like it. And once the stage is reached, when you don't feel working is some burden then we can talk about work-life balance. In order to find this balance first you need to recalibrate this scale by working your ass off. If you can't fall in love with your work by the age of 30, you are only going to live your life on weekends. Who wants to live only 2 days a week. If you need Monday motivation to get up after the weekend, you really don't like your work. Fix it, this has a tremendous effect on your next 35 years. 

But, the question is how do you transform your perspective and life? 

You need to build obsession basically, to simply put it, "obsess in your work and relax in your life". 

1. First thing first, stop following what your friends are doing, because they are as idiotic as you are.

2. Read about great people, everyone had a difficult life and this will slowly and steadily change your perspective towards your own piddly ass problems. You will start building the mindset that if people can survive world wars, you can survive heartbreak or financial loss.

3. Start obsessing over reading great people, every morning should start with some motivational quote or thought.

4. Stop drinking, you need to be in your senses in order to bring structure to your thought and clarity to your vision. You need your senses on weekends to build the life you want.

5. Eat healthily and build strength so that you can work long hours. Do some really long work hours. Stop trying to find fun in your work, it's not supposed to be fun. It is supposed to be grinding.

6. Try to convince yourself, that if it is easy everybody would do it. And also for a transformation to take place, you must go through tough times. If you are going through tough mental times, it means you are progressing toward learning new ideas.

7. Start achieving physical feats like running for an hour or lifting twice your body weight.

8. Don't even think of getting into a relationship, it will make you soft and less motivated. You need angst, ego, and a sense of urgency to keep you motivated. If you have a partner, keep them. But don't look for a new one at least during the transformation. It can't be completed with someone consoling you during your hard times. You need to find your own truth.

9. Learn finance and build strategies around your money. Learn enough so that you can generate multiple income sources.

10. Don't go to places where people talk about other people. Start embracing loneliness. Convince yourself of the idea that home is the place where you need to be. Keep both your mind and body in the same place. Stop going to fucking parties, clubs, and bars. They are the best thing to kill motivation, waste time, and bring disorder in life. 

11. Do dishes and think deeply while doing that. Start doing mundane things, it shows the reality of the world in much more clarity without the glitter.

12. Start praying, it will keep you grounded.

13. Try to learn completely new things, it puts stress on your brain and puts you into learning mode.

14. Stop watching movies and series and rather watch lectures from the best professors in every field.

15. Write often, to bring more clarity to your thoughts.

16. Practice humility, and try to give people rather than look for taking things from others. Be a giver, than a taker.

Slowly and steadily all these things will start giving you a better perspective and you will start seeing things with much more needed clarity. And if lucky you will see and feel things that you have never ever imagined. Once you have achieved the transformation, necessary things will automatically come back and useless stuff will be automatically discarded.