Foolishness

When we are young, life is chaotic potential, and it's ready to manifest into something extraordinary. As we grow old the chaotic potential starts taking shape and we start losing the freedom to pursue different paths. Over the past few years, I've met some very interesting people and noticed that almost everyone had one thing in common; a strong desire to get away from their ordinary life, almost everyone I meet is seeking solace in traveling, drinking, or partying. There is nothing wrong with seeking a little bit of fun, but we must ask ourselves if it is sustainable? I've met a lot of people who are probably equally or more intelligent than me in some sense but I still believe that most of them will conform to the ideas of society and are going to spend their lives in the most ordinary ways imaginable. There is nothing wrong with living a normal life but there is no adventure in that, following the path of fun and games is not going to make one's life extraordinary. To live an extraordinarily adventurous life one needs to spend a great deal of time with themselves, understanding their mind and their real desires. Traveling to 100 different countries is a minuscule adventure compared to traveling the mystery of one's mind. The real adventure of life is in discovering your strengths and weaknesses rather than attending nameless parties with strangers. Most people never live the life they want, not because they don't have the brains, it is because they don't have discipline. Discipline takes people on adventures incomprehensible to a distracted mind. Life gives more and more opportunities to try out new things as one starts becoming good at things. And what's better than becoming good at understanding oneself. Excessive partying kills the real joy of life and starts giving a false sense of happiness that disappears at the slightest hint of trouble. When I look back, I hardly remember any party but I definitely remember each and every moment where I did something that pushed me to be a better individual. One should understand that the greatest misery of our lives is that we are always trying to run away from our boring lives, but what if I tell you there is a way past that. If one is ready to struggle and put in the hard work they can totally understand that partying or traveling is just a short time solution, the real joy exists in being content in the most inconsequential and boring moments of life. Anyone who is in their mid twenty should totally devote themselves to learning as much as they can and in that way they often learn to love their work. If one has fallen in love with their work then half of the problem is already solved. Most people look at their work as a way to make money, nothing else. What a misery it is that most people spend most of their life doing something they don't enjoy. So, what's the way out, people should go and spend their time with their work, without putting in those extra hours one never falls in love with their work. I spent a lot of years loathing programming and a few years down the line I'm in love with it, only because I was ready to be bored and give my time to it. If one doesn't fall in love with their work, then they are likely to live their lives only on weekends. What a misery it is to feel alive only on weekends. Understand one thing everything that gives fun is not necessarily good in the long term. Often the things that give meaning to life will be hard at least initially. Stop chasing short-term happiness because it makes life even more miserable. Finding purpose and content should be the goal for every adult in their twenties because let's be real here, we're not going to get more neuroplasticity as we grow old. Go and work your ass off, the things one learns in that process are incredibly better than any drug or party. Constant partying, traveling, and sex is no better than doing drugs. Drugs might give out-of-the-world experiences but that doesn't take away the misery of our lives. As soon as their intoxication is gone, life seems even more meaningless and full of misery. 

The foolishness of people's life is not just limited to doing drugs or excessive partying but it permeates every aspect of their life. Most of the people I met in the last two years are utterly foolish in a certain sense. By not taking active criticism and only talking about fun things they miss out on the opportunity to improve themselves. Given the distractions of the world, it's already very hard to become wiser. People who could have achieved much more with their intelligence spend most of their free time going to new bars and random parties. My question to them is what is so great about their lives that they need to celebrate every week. Half of the people in my house attend parties with random strangers in order to find new sexual partners. Know this everything, literally, everything we do affects our lives. Just think for a moment about how relationships will turn out if all one has practiced is momentary gratification. People whom I thought were my friends turned out to be so foolish that they destroyed half of their relationships in our group. Expecting things from them was my foolishness and I'm happy that I learned my lesson quickly. People are not bad in general it's just that they are foolish and often don't realize that their own actions are pushing them towards an unhappy end. I'm no sage, but the good thing is that I'm aware of my foolishness and I'm making real efforts to change that. 

Now here's a list of the things I tried in the last few years, few of them happened because I chose to do those, and along the way, a few happened because new doors opened for me. I do believe most of my friends can greatly benefit from trying at least a few of them.

- Got a master's degree from one of the top universities in the world. I primarily came just for the sake of studying. I would have been extremely happy even if I hadn't gotten a job in Belgium. At least once, study for the sake of studying, not for a job or any other reason. This time I learned things much beyond my syllabus because I was studying out of sheer curiosity thus I was able to fall in love with my subject of study.

- Learned guitar, it helped me immensely to deal with being alone. Spending time with my own thoughts has opened so many new doors for me, now I can get interested in almost everything. My childlike curiosity sparked again because of my loneliness.

- Trying to master the teachings of Advaita Vedanta is my goal for life, this is the thing that keeps me motivated to learn new things. The teachings of Advaita keep me humble and on the ground and tell me every time that I'm a fool who thinks he is smarter than others.  

- Learned quite a lot about neurobiology and did something which was unimaginable for me, exercise and bringing a schedule to my life. I understood how my mind thinks and learns to do new things. Now I know how to change my psyche and adapt it to do new things. In this process, I also learned about depression and how to keep my mind fit. 

- Combining my knowledge of Neurobiology and philosophy (for motivation) I reached my peak strength and stamina (almost without a Zym). The joy of running, biking and other physical feats are beyond words. One of the happiest moments for me in past few years was the day I ran more than 10k, I was crying in bliss.

- Learned a ton of things about the history of India and the great people of India. It helped me immensely to form an identity for myself and gave me a ton of appreciation for the incredible country I was born in. 

- Learned a ton of things about social dynamics, relationships and people's behavior. It gives me quite an edge in understanding social situations and whom to trust in bad times. 

- Started writing to give structure to my thoughts and also learned how to listen to other people while defending my own ideology. This helped me greatly in not being controlled by others.

- Speaking honestly is one of the hardest things to learn in general, this is something that helped me a lot in gaining trust and respect. Most people say they want to hear the truth but they are unable to digest the truth. Most people won't like you for being honest but in all those people you will find one who will have your back and will form a lifelong relationship with you and ultimately that's what you need. I also learned to take criticism in the process of speaking the truth.

- Learned how to think critically, this prepared me to speak clearly and gave me the ability to convince people of my own beliefs and ideas. It's a great skill to have.

"Mein bhi baaki sabhi ki tarah chutiya hun, bas farak itna h ki mujhe iss baat ka ilm hai, aur mein isko badalne ke liye har roz koshish kr rha hun" ~ Unknown