Why most realtionships don't turn into a marriage

Before we answer our question, let's understand why marriage exists in the first place? Why people need marriages or a partner in their lives? When you were a child, your parents took care of you, they had your back, the only thing you cared about was playing. You grow a bit and got friends and school to support you. In college you made even better friends, more like brothers, at least I did. A common thing in all these stages of life, a support system, be it your friends or family. But, once you join the workforce, the support system is gone. You are most likely away from your family and friends, and this is where marriage or a need for a partner comes in. There are only a few kinds of people who can survive without a partner in their lives if they wish for it. For instance, monks have trained their body and mind to be independent of any emotional or physical need from another person, great teachers like APJ Abdul Kalam have their research and students to fill the need of a partner, actors have their craft to focus on, and people like Ratan Tata have their business empire to take care of. Common people like us who are working 9-5 jobs definitely need a partner once they reach a certain age. This need for a partner comes at a different age for different people, but a few years down the corporate life most of us are on the same page.

You may ask, but people get into a relationship even at school or college level, why so? I'm pretty sure that at the school level none of us need to be in a serious relationship. And often, it is all about infatuation, people who were considered bad influence by their peers were the ones favored and liked by girls. At that time it was all about looking cool and doing stuff like dancing or be rude to teachers, this gave the impression of being a badass and it was enough to attract girls towards you. I can't blame anyone here, everyone was naive and kind of foolish at that age. I've personally witnessed people naming their future children in class 9th and it was definitely funny hearing that. You enter the college and a new life begins, here it is all about creating an image of a popular guy, you still infatuate but there is a bit more seriousness now. I've seen the desperation among boys and it is all because of fear of missing out, most of them don't actually need any kind of relationship. But seeing others do make them believe that they also need it. I know that getting into a serious relationship makes you a little more mature, but maturity is not actually required to live a peaceful or successful life. I've got totally immature friends doing wonderful in their lives and they are the happiest among the lot. But once you join the workforce it is a different ball game altogether. You are very likely to live far away from your home and in the worst case you don't even have college friends to stay with you. Once you are back home from the office, there is hardly anything to engage your mind. Few initial years seem exciting because of the financial independence you get with a job. Visiting good bars and clubs and buying the things you wanted is pretty exciting but within a year or two this also losses its charm. Once the initial job period is over, pretty much nothing is left to engage your mind and this is where you actually start feeling the need of a partner and in few cases a marriage. I've seen people getting together just so that they can have someone with whom they can take a walk. Most of the jobs are just boring and monotonous and not having any hobby makes it even worse. 

So, to answer the question, why most relationships don't turn into a marriage, it is not that people are not serious about their relations when they are in school or college, it is neither the compatibility. People don't get married to their initial partners because of the uncertainty in their lives. Let me expand on this, when I was in class 9th I wanted to be a musician, in class 11th I wanted to be an astrophysicist, in college's first year an embedded developer, and in the third year, I decided to pursue research in AI. Just look at how my dreams changed as life proceeded. So, if I'm not sure about the things I want in my own life, how can I expect someone else to want the exact thing 7-8 years down the line? And this is the only reason why most of the relations don't turn into a marriage, compatibility and everything else is just a by-product of the uncertainty of our lives. All the fights happen because of the changes that happen with time and most people expect everything to be the same as the day they met. As you get older your future starts to set in, means the chance to change it starts reducing. In school and college, you can turn your life in any direction but a few years in corporate and you know that it is your rest of life. So people get married when they know that nothing much can be done to explore the other facets of life. People who don't get married have their whole life to experiment, but 9-to-5 working people can't experiment much. Another thing that I've observed, if in some cases people marry their school or college love, it is very likely that at least one of them doesn't believe too much in exploration, their expectation from life is simple. All they want is to get settled as quickly as possible. No matter how much you love each other just tell your partner that you aren't sure about what you'll do or want in your life, most of them will leave you to look for someone with a set career path. The same girls who used to look for cool and badass people in their teens start looking for a mature and well-settled guy. Most of the girls, especially in India, will not marry a struggler. You may criticize people for taking dowry but the same people never marry their daughters to a person earning less than her, but let's save this topic for another blog.

At last, I would say, few want their future to be read and known but true living is all about exploration and it definitely comes with a factor of uncertainty. Be a little daring and you may end up living your life with a lot more satisfaction and happiness.