The needed proximity
Almost every crime that happens in this country due to the gender difference is a direct result of people not being exposed to the proximity of the other gender. Making strict laws can definitely bring down such cases, but, until and unless the mindsets of people are not changed this problem will never completely vanish from our society. Most of us never understood the opposite gender proximity thus often we end up reacting foolishly or aggressively with other gender. Both genders need to learn and understand the concept of proximity in order to curb these crimes.
There are several downsides of people not being exposed to each other's comfort limits, priorities, and behavior. I've witnessed highly educated men aggressively behaving with women on the other hand decent boys unable to even speak their names in front of a girl. Both the spectrum of this societal structure is not suitable for the growth of our society. Of course, aggression tends to bring more imbalance but we can't neglect the fact that there are guys who start fumbling even in general talks with a girl. Both of these problems exist because people never learned what it means to be friends or partners with other gender. I know that you feel scared, happy, excited confused, and many other things when you see someone you like and this may make you fumble in front of that person. But to fumble in front of every girl is a sign of underconfidence. This underconfidence seriously limits the opportunity of knowing each other's opinions and thus pushing us into creating generalization for others' gender.
Eve teasing is very common all around the world and I believe that not getting acquainted with the other gender at an early age is the reason for it. One solution which I really liked to curb the eve-teasing is followed in Japan where a woman can send a message to the train operator about the eve-teasing and the driver announces the presence of an eve teaser, it automatically makes the offender conscious about his mistake thus preventing him from further teasing. You'll often find that anonymity tends to bring out this unsocial and unjust trait. People who do an activity like eve-teasing tends to treat the women of their own house in a bad manner. Even the highly educated people get the thoughts of teasing around but the fear of law and disgrace stops them from pursuing such activity. You'll find that educated people are always more fearful of losing their respect or going to jail because of the number of things they've got to lose. On the other hand, people like bus drivers, mechanics are much more likely to engage in crime due to their limited financial resources, lack of fear of losing out on much, and the less fear of going to jail. Most of the women think that teasing is solely based on the morality of men that dictates their behavior towards women, but in reality, it is the mixture of their financial condition, proximity with women at a younger age, fear of law, chances of being caught by police and public disgrace in society. Understand this, lust is a very important emotion in a human being, it drives us to procreate without this emotion life will cease. Evolution has evolved our brains to feel lustful at ceratin occasions, so instead of trying to suppress the lust, we must learn to behave properly and respectfully in lustful situations. In lustful situations, most of the men find themselves in a situation where they don't know how to react or think. We all know that males are inferior in the handling of complex emotions as compared to women (I'm talking about the processing of emotions not concealing it) thus you'll often see that more men will try to harm themselves when their love story goes a bit wrong. Men tend to do more physical damage to their bodies when they find themselves being cheated by their partners because of their inability to handle complex emotions. All these situations are uncharted territory thus people get confused about how to tread such situations. Even an incident as small as not replying to a text tends to throw men into a continuous array of never stopping assumptions.
In women's cases, things are not that grave but it's definitely not all sunshine and rainbow either. For instance, most of the teen girls don't really hesitate to cast aspersion even to an old man without even considering the fact that touching her may have happened because of the extra crowd. I'm not saying that voices should not be raised against such men, but to judge a man's complete character on a single accusation is also not correct. Indian laws regarding harassment tend to favor women because of the patriarchal nature of our society and it's a good thing they do so. But the statistics of dowry act show that around 60-70% of filed complaints are fake, such blatant disregard for the law makes it tough to improve upon the present laws. You'll find that many young women and girls will treat dogs and cats better than their male counterparts. They may not show this by saying something inherently bad but their voice tone may be able to say something similar. Girls not treating boys with due respect especially in schools and colleges is a fairly common thing, please avoid disrespecting men in public without concrete proof because this tends to bring the aggressive nature of men, and any form of aggression is generally bad for a progressing and peace-loving society. Even a false accusation can take a lot away from men and the sad part is that he never gets any form of sympathy or support while fighting to disprove the charges against him. One more interesting thing which is fairly common in India is that when two consenting individuals are caught up having sex by their families, the girl's family always tries to put blame on the boy or worst case scenario a false rape case against him. I know that a staggering number of rape cases are never actually reported but several surveys indicate that out of all the cases that are reported, at least 25% cases are false. 25% is not a small number, it is substantial enough to think about making changes to current rape law in India.
If we wish to end this evil, we really need to understand each other and have to give up on the mindset like thinking of having sex with every girl you see around, changing behavior in front of girls, thinking of sex as just a physical activity, it's not and there are very deeper and finer aspects to it which I won't be explaining in this blog. And for girls not sending a friend request to a colleague or a batchmate you like just because of a proposition that it may devalue your reputation as a girl or using your sexual appeal to get your work done, is something needed to be looked upon. Both men and women should complement each other just like Yin (Feminine energy) and Yang (Masculine energy) of Feng shui. For all those who don't know what Feng shui looks like, here's the courtesy of Google Images.
There are several downsides of people not being exposed to each other's comfort limits, priorities, and behavior. I've witnessed highly educated men aggressively behaving with women on the other hand decent boys unable to even speak their names in front of a girl. Both the spectrum of this societal structure is not suitable for the growth of our society. Of course, aggression tends to bring more imbalance but we can't neglect the fact that there are guys who start fumbling even in general talks with a girl. Both of these problems exist because people never learned what it means to be friends or partners with other gender. I know that you feel scared, happy, excited confused, and many other things when you see someone you like and this may make you fumble in front of that person. But to fumble in front of every girl is a sign of underconfidence. This underconfidence seriously limits the opportunity of knowing each other's opinions and thus pushing us into creating generalization for others' gender.
Eve teasing is very common all around the world and I believe that not getting acquainted with the other gender at an early age is the reason for it. One solution which I really liked to curb the eve-teasing is followed in Japan where a woman can send a message to the train operator about the eve-teasing and the driver announces the presence of an eve teaser, it automatically makes the offender conscious about his mistake thus preventing him from further teasing. You'll often find that anonymity tends to bring out this unsocial and unjust trait. People who do an activity like eve-teasing tends to treat the women of their own house in a bad manner. Even the highly educated people get the thoughts of teasing around but the fear of law and disgrace stops them from pursuing such activity. You'll find that educated people are always more fearful of losing their respect or going to jail because of the number of things they've got to lose. On the other hand, people like bus drivers, mechanics are much more likely to engage in crime due to their limited financial resources, lack of fear of losing out on much, and the less fear of going to jail. Most of the women think that teasing is solely based on the morality of men that dictates their behavior towards women, but in reality, it is the mixture of their financial condition, proximity with women at a younger age, fear of law, chances of being caught by police and public disgrace in society. Understand this, lust is a very important emotion in a human being, it drives us to procreate without this emotion life will cease. Evolution has evolved our brains to feel lustful at ceratin occasions, so instead of trying to suppress the lust, we must learn to behave properly and respectfully in lustful situations. In lustful situations, most of the men find themselves in a situation where they don't know how to react or think. We all know that males are inferior in the handling of complex emotions as compared to women (I'm talking about the processing of emotions not concealing it) thus you'll often see that more men will try to harm themselves when their love story goes a bit wrong. Men tend to do more physical damage to their bodies when they find themselves being cheated by their partners because of their inability to handle complex emotions. All these situations are uncharted territory thus people get confused about how to tread such situations. Even an incident as small as not replying to a text tends to throw men into a continuous array of never stopping assumptions.
In women's cases, things are not that grave but it's definitely not all sunshine and rainbow either. For instance, most of the teen girls don't really hesitate to cast aspersion even to an old man without even considering the fact that touching her may have happened because of the extra crowd. I'm not saying that voices should not be raised against such men, but to judge a man's complete character on a single accusation is also not correct. Indian laws regarding harassment tend to favor women because of the patriarchal nature of our society and it's a good thing they do so. But the statistics of dowry act show that around 60-70% of filed complaints are fake, such blatant disregard for the law makes it tough to improve upon the present laws. You'll find that many young women and girls will treat dogs and cats better than their male counterparts. They may not show this by saying something inherently bad but their voice tone may be able to say something similar. Girls not treating boys with due respect especially in schools and colleges is a fairly common thing, please avoid disrespecting men in public without concrete proof because this tends to bring the aggressive nature of men, and any form of aggression is generally bad for a progressing and peace-loving society. Even a false accusation can take a lot away from men and the sad part is that he never gets any form of sympathy or support while fighting to disprove the charges against him. One more interesting thing which is fairly common in India is that when two consenting individuals are caught up having sex by their families, the girl's family always tries to put blame on the boy or worst case scenario a false rape case against him. I know that a staggering number of rape cases are never actually reported but several surveys indicate that out of all the cases that are reported, at least 25% cases are false. 25% is not a small number, it is substantial enough to think about making changes to current rape law in India.
If we wish to end this evil, we really need to understand each other and have to give up on the mindset like thinking of having sex with every girl you see around, changing behavior in front of girls, thinking of sex as just a physical activity, it's not and there are very deeper and finer aspects to it which I won't be explaining in this blog. And for girls not sending a friend request to a colleague or a batchmate you like just because of a proposition that it may devalue your reputation as a girl or using your sexual appeal to get your work done, is something needed to be looked upon. Both men and women should complement each other just like Yin (Feminine energy) and Yang (Masculine energy) of Feng shui. For all those who don't know what Feng shui looks like, here's the courtesy of Google Images.
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